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A Note to Self

Updated: May 10, 2021

by Sha-Keiya Culzac

Ekphrasis in reVerse 2020

An apology is long overdue I apologize For all the years I didn’t appreciate you For all the years I kept you hidden I kept your magic a secret When you deserved Much more I apologize For all the pain and suffering I let you endure For letting people Use you and abuse you like a drug And while you were stuck taking care of lil boys disguised as men High off sativa Whoever asked you if you’re

Okay Are you okay? I apologize for feeling sorry for you When there were people Facing way worse than you I apologize for Feeling like the whole world Was on your shoulders When you didn’t even

Know what half felt like You’ve battled some dark days You’ve fallen victim to your anxiety You opened and shared Your pain to others Only to endure more You’ve cried more times than You can count But your nights are no Longer the same Your no longer kept up at night Six feet under Struggling to breathe Crying yourself to sleep Darkness no longer Engulfs you He no longer comes And digs his claws Deep into your flesh Whispering ghastly thoughts Into your ear I truly apologize But I regret None of it The 5’3, slim-build Caramel young woman I’ve consistently looked at in the mirror She is who she is Now because I Haven’t always protected her I needed all of it Every high Every low It didn’t kill you

It made you stronger I’ve now been able to Reach God I speak to him now More than ever I know that he is Guiding me And protecting me Through him I will become the

Best me

I understand your scars now I have a true appreciation For them For you can’t Appreciate the light Until you’ve met Face to face With darkness So I apologize But I am no longer Sorry

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