by Jocelyn Brown
I beg and plead to be understood. I live in a society where I find that I’m treated less humane just because I am an African-American Lesbian. I beg and plead to be understood. I live in a society where I find that I’m treated less humane just because I am an African-American Lesbian. I find it crazy to be questioned if I want to be a man because society has decided what is defined as masculinity. Society has decided that my clothes define me. Society has made it clear that to them I am a violation of what they consider to be the right way. Which of course is considered not black and definitely not gay. Throw the book at me and tell me I’ll burn in hell. The people that I am supposed to consider my brothers and sisters are the ones that hate me the most. Decide not to claim me. Or claim to not have a vendetta but not support my lifestyle. I find this extremely wild. I find it crazy that because I am a lady my heart is not meant to love one like me. I am to have a man sweep me off my feet but to be quite honest I plan to take care of me. I am to dress like a lady be classy but a freak in the sheets. I am to praise the man above for the life he has blessed me with. Is this life really a blessing when I feel as though day after day I am a lesson of what people do not want their children to be? Am I less of a lady because my clothes may not be as fitted and I may never where a dress that comes slightly above the knee or heels that make me stand tall like the statue of liberty? The regulations and stipulations of society. The bullshit that made my life a living hell and made me feel the life I was living wasn’t worth living. To fall into an eternal sleep or to burn through the days mentally eating myself alive. To live a lie and keep others around me at peace or to stand tall and know that I can be no other but me. Some would say it’s ironic. You are told that you are to love all others. I find this iconic. I stood after being beat with the words and looks that you thought would defeat me. Call me a superior because I stood and said “I’m an African-American lesbian” when you called me a contradiction to my culture.