by Talya Johnson
I will never be able to love someone the way
I longed for when loving you
I will never be able to forgive myself for letting this go on for so long
my love moves mountains and I moved a few with you
I will never be able to get over the heartache
because I never said anything to anyone
I let it eat me up inside for too long
I’m exhausted
I will never be able to love again
as deeply as I did with you or a least; I thought
I will never be able to give myself to someone the way
I let you openly explore who I really was through
childhood traumas and stories that once made me feel small
you really got to know me … everyone didn’t get that
Yet you still couldn’t find the missing piece to the puzzle
let alone to my heart
I’d loved you and you gave me nothing in return
but burdens that were too heavy to carry, I didn’t deserve that
And that I will never be able to get over it
How can I forgive myself?