Bungus

Joseph Sutton

What is a bungus cope pile? 

It’s a simple premise, I promise 

But chat will force me to explain 

Let’s go word by word 

The bungus is a fungus hailing from mungus 

But what’s mungus? I couldn’t tell you exactly The best

theories revolve around big chungus Ah yes, the fat rabbit

with an appetite for logic Long dead now, but you could

perhaps revive him I know some who could help you, I

call them Bung Vulchungo and the Zimbabwe Songbirds,

Though be careful, they’ll paralyze you like a Banana

Man Speaking of which, do you want one? 

I could certainly arrange a crate from the island of Karamja

There’s a man who works with infinite adventurers They

bring him ten bananas, he gives them thirty gold coins They

give the coins to the guards at the docks And whazam!

They’ve bought their freedom! This card is bungus, this

word is bungus, you are bungus What is bungus but the

fungus from a mungus? Among Us? Holy skibidi rizz

gyattling gun 

Falling from the sky like a Fortnite Jonesy

We munch on crayons as we say these words 

And the crayons are tasty, what’s your favorite color?

Mine’s green, but maroon tastes better. 

When I swallow the wax it burns my throat and hurts my tummy

But who cares? I’m getting stupider anyway

All I can do is imaginate the betterness of the chumbos.

But then what of cope? 

Certainly this word means something 

Well yes, if you were normal you could certainly try

See those who have lost loved ones or their minds

Watch them cope with themselves and their lives

That is not the cope that I mean 

No, the cope that I see is that where one seethes 

Coping where someone is malding and chugging along

Falling for bait and telling me that I’m wrong 

What makes me so wrong other than my lack of right?

Wouldn’t that make me left? If so, then I’m still correct

If all that’s left is me then that means my opponent is dead

Last man standing, that’s the rule, right? 

I wouldn’t know I’ve never been in a proper debate

Only internet rumblings about bungus this and bungus that

There’s that word bungus again; what’s it mean, chat?

Maybe something that is bungus will explain it 

A pile is bungus to its core

In fact, those who create piles are afflicted 

A curse of bungus: 

They are never to succeed or create anything successful 

Worst of all—they are always meant to procreate 

Their successors never successfully successing their successes 

Except in its absence, where the success rate is one hundred percent

So there are piles everywhere 

Piles of brick, piles of paper, piles of color, piles of emotions never known

All cleverly disguised as their true counterparts 

There are no buildings, books, paintings, or people 

There is no construction, only smushing together of parts vaguely related

All because Jungus McFungal the Second Infected by Slungus 

Lost his LEGOs inside a shell and blamed it on the people of

PILE Pilates, Intellimigence, Legends, and Egads 

And those people were strong, the strongest there’d ever been 

We’ve never seen a people so strong, you know I had an uncle 

Who had a grandpa who had a friend who had a dog who had an owner

That built the original pile and he was a great man 

The best man ever known 

It was once said that he could make a pile worse than any other

And he did 

He was so good at making the most horrendous piles you’ve ever seen your eyes on It was said that he didn’t have DNA 

He had USA

I love that my edumacation has blessed me with such powerful knowledge Chat, you tell me that words used to mean something 

… 

Did they?

About the Author

Joseph Sutton, Virginia State University

A Goofy Goober Weenie Hut Jr., Joseph loves red pandas and riding the sound waves of his own speech. His favorite emotion is whiplash. Unfortunately, his favorite movie is Doubt.